The No-Bullsh*t Guide to Tarot Reading: A Beginner's Guide | Taroter

no-bs-guide-to-tarot-reading

Alright, let's get one thing straight: tarot isn't here to "fix" your life, tell you your soulmate's name, or give you some neat fairy-tale happy ending. Tarot's a mirror. It shows you exactly what you're not looking at. It's harsh. It's honest. And most of all, it's not going to hold your hand and tell you everything's fine. So if you're up for that, grab your cards.

Step 1: Choose Your Deck (Don't Overthink It)

Listen, there are a thousand different tarot decks out there. The Classic Rider-Waite deck, the trendy cat-themed one, or whatever Etsy creation you've been eyeing. Pick one. Any one. The one that "feels right," if you're into that sort of thing. Or the one that you bought because it was on sale. It doesn't matter. The cards are a tool. The magic—if you can call it that—comes from you. So grab a deck!

A standard tarot deck has 78 cards and each one has its own imagery and symbolism. The cards are split into two categories: 22 Major Arcana cards and 56 Minor Arcana cards.

Major Arcana: These are the big dogs, the cards that speak to broader life lessons and themes. They include 21 numbered cards and the unnumbered Fool. The Fool's Journey is the story arc of learning, growth, and transformation through each card.
Minor Arcana: The Minor Arcana relates to daily, temporary events and challenges. There are 56 cards across four suits:
- Wands: Passion, energy, creativity, and sexuality. Fire element.
- Cups: Emotions, feelings, love, intuition. Water element.
- Swords: Intellect, thoughts, communication, action. Air element.
- Pentacles: Material aspects, finance, career, possessions. Earth element.

Each suit also has four court cards—the King, Queen, Knight, and Page—which can represent people, personalities, situations, or energies.

Step 2: Card Shuffling (No, There's No Perfect Way)

Shuffle until it feels right, okay? No rituals. No prayers to some mystical card deity. Just mix those damn cards up. You can do it like a seasoned poker dealer or just swirl them around like a toddler with their building blocks. It doesn’t matter. I swear, people waste so much time on this nonsense. The cards will end up where they need to. And yes, if one or two pop out while you're shuffling, that’s probably significant. Don't ignore it.

There are different shuffling methods—overhand, cutting the deck, or spreading the cards out and picking at random. There's no right or wrong way. Just find the one that works for you.

Step 3: Ask Your Question and Set Your Intention (But Be Real About It)

Now, let's get into the meat of it. Your question. Don't ask something dumb like "Will I ever be happy?" You won’t like my answer—trust me. Instead, ask something that actually helps you move forward: “What’s standing in my way right now?” or “How can I stop being such a scaredy-cat about this job change?” The cards like clarity. They're not your magical hotline to Disneyland, alright?

More importantly, set your intention. Intention is everything when it comes to tarot readings. It shapes the energy you bring to the cards, and having a clear intention can make the difference between a reading that resonates and one that feels confusing or flat. If your heart isn’t in it, neither are the cards. Take a moment before you pull any cards to center yourself, focus on what you genuinely want to know, and keep that intention clear in your mind. Setting a solid intention helps the reading flow better and gives you more impactful insights.

A good question is open-ended and introspective. Try questions like:

"What do I need to know about...?"
"How can I better understand...?"
"What steps can I take to improve...?"
"Where is the hidden opportunity in...?"

Step 4: Pick a Spread (More Cards = Deeper)

Picking the right spread is crucial. It's all about how deep you want to go and what kind of insight you're after. The spread you choose sets the tone for your reading, determining how many aspects of your question you explore and how much depth you get. Think of it like choosing the right tool for the job. The wrong spread can leave you feeling more confused, while the right one brings clarity.

First, decide how deep you want to go. A one-card pull is perfect if you're just looking for a quick read on your day—a simple "what’s the vibe today" answer that’s easy to digest. If you're feeling a bit more reflective, go for a three-card spread: one card for the past, one for the present, and one for the future. This gives you a clearer narrative, showing how your history shapes where you are now, and what lies ahead.

If you want to dive into the nitty-gritty, try a Celtic Cross. This spread uses ten cards to examine a situation from multiple angles—your past, present, future, what's helping or hindering you, and the possible outcome. It's thorough and detailed, but it can be intense. Make sure you’re ready for some raw truths before you proceed.

Common Tarot Spreads to Consider

One-Card Spread: Quick, simple, and to the point. Perfect for daily guidance or an immediate vibe check.
Three-Card Spread: Past, present, and future. It’s a classic and great for seeing the flow of events.
Celtic Cross: The big one. Ten cards. It gives a deep dive into a question, offering perspectives from multiple angles.
Five-Card Cross: A smaller, simpler version of the Celtic Cross. Provides insight into challenges, influences, and opportunities.
Relationship Spread: Ideal if you’re asking about a connection between you and another person. Helps uncover dynamics, strengths, and weaknesses.

Remember, the spread you choose is about finding the right balance between depth and clarity. If you're new, start small and simple—complex spreads can be overwhelming at first. As you get more comfortable, challenge yourself with bigger spreads. And whatever you do, remember: it’s not about the number of cards, but the quality of the message you get.

Step 5: Interpret (A.K.A. Make Sense of the Truth)

Alright, here's where the rubber meets the road. Don’t get hung up on memorizing every single card meaning like it’s a high school quiz. You’re here to understand the story the cards are telling, and guess what? Stories are messy.

When you get The Tower, don’t freak out. Yeah, it’s a sh*t show. Something’s coming apart. But newsflash: it needed to. Sometimes you’re just building a damn Lego tower on quicksand, and the universe’s like, "Fuck your plans." Be grateful—The Tower clears the way for something real.

Get The Lovers? Before you get all "omg soulmates!" maybe consider what kind of relationship we're talking about here. Is it actually love, or is it codependency with a side of "I’m scared to be alone"? Don’t bullsh*t yourself.
Death isn't "scary." It’s an ending. Get over it. Some things need to end—jobs, relationships, bad habits. Welcome it. You can’t start the next season of your life if you're too busy rerunning the last one.

When you pull your cards, pay attention to what stands out—the symbols, colors, numbers. Let your intuition guide you, and if you’re drawing a blank, look up the meanings. This isn’t about getting it "right" or "wrong." It’s about understanding what the cards are trying to tell you in that moment. Combine the traditional meanings with your gut feelings and context.

Step 6: Ending a Reading (No Ritual Candles Required)

When you're done with a reading, thank the cards. Not because they’re alive or anything, but because you’re acknowledging the insight you got. It’s called respect, sweetheart. Just like when you say thanks to a friend who calls you out on your bullsh*t—if you have friends who are actually worth a damn.

Common Mistakes and My Pet Peeves

Thinking the cards tell you the future: No. Just no. They give you insight based on where you are now. If you change your actions, the outcome changes. Stop thinking you're locked into anything.
Asking the same question a hundred times: If you don't like the answer, shut up and do something about it. The cards won't tell you something new just because you're whining.
Ignoring your gut feeling: You’ve got a brain for a reason, and shocker, you’ve got intuition too. Use it.

A Moment of Kindness.

Look, tarot is a tool for self-discovery. The cards don’t lie—they show you parts of yourself that you’re too afraid to see. Yeah, sometimes they’re mean. Sometimes they make you feel like a worthless sack of potatoes. But that’s the point. Growth doesn’t come from comfort. It comes from digging in, seeing the ugly parts, and saying, "Okay, I can work with this."

You’ve got this—even if the cards make you feel like you’re freefalling from The Tower. At the end of the day, they’re just here to remind you: you can do hard things, and sometimes, the only way out is through.

So grab your cards, get your sh*t together, and read on.